Suomi Talo visit - a rude experience

[Zippyz]

Today my husband and I, who is a finnish citizen, ventured out to Lantana, Florida.
We visited the finnish american tourist center known as: Suomi Talo. Much to my surprise, we were not greeted with a welcome but a very distant attitude.
From the time we entered the tourist center it was apparent we were not welcome. When we first arrived we were informed that a christmas party was for members ONLY.
My husband and I looked at each other with confusion. We thought that this was a place to gain information on Finland and finnish american clubs in Florida. We were already feeling out of place, when another person informed us that a christmas party was for members ONLY. My husband and I already knew this and figured that they were desperate to get rid of us. Fortunately, my husband was persistent and kept asking questions about activities, etc. After a few minutes we felt they really did not want us there and we left.
Later, after we left I told my husband that they were very rude to us, and wondered if this is how the finnish people are. I know from a previous visit to Finland that finnish people are more reserved but never rude. Hopefully this isn't happening to other tourists who visit the Suomi Talo. It would be a shame to have such representation of the finnish culture and people.

[Tero]

I guess they don't want new members!
Sounds rather typical. I've only stopped at this house once or twice. I think they do have some events open to the general public, so they have the right to hold some members only events. I've been a member of a scandinavian club, and it was much the same. The Berkeley Finnish Brotherhood had some public events, and I went to those. At other times they had closed events.
At many clubs, even if you join, you'll get the feeling that newcomers are not expected to come and change the old ways. You have to hang around 10-20 years, and eventually the older members give up and you can have a newer generation take over. They don't really seem to notice that they aren't promoting new members very well, as your case exemplifies. Eventually, there will be no clubs at this rate.

[Ville]

Generally it seems, as I have mentioned before, that the Finnish clubs in the U.S. (and probably Canada) seem to be in a "time warp". Whenever I have visited one of those club-houses (such as Finnish Brotherhood Hall in Berkeley, or Suomi Talo in Lantana), I always feel their glory days were about 20-30 years ago. The members who regularly attend the activities are generally elderly people who migrated to the U.S. in the 50's and 60's. Amerikan Uutiset news weekly generally serves the same group of people. Most younger Finns living in the U.S. these days find the newspaper similarly "aged" as the Finnish clubs.

Nationality or the language probably doesn't make a difference in how people are treated - most likely I would have been met with the same attitude had I been visiting the Suomi Talo during a members only party, unfortunate as it is.

[This message has been edited by Ville (edited December 20, 1999).]

[Tero]

Well, yes there is a problem between the generations. But as editor of a nespaper, for instance, what can you do? If at least half of your subscribers are members of the old guard, you can't annoy them on purpose. So you end up with a somewhat dull paper.

You just have to live with these old timers and communicate with them on their level. There's something to be learned if you get to know them better. The ones that have Finnish grandparents but know little of the culture have to be approached yet in third type of manner. Due to the small number of recent immigrants, we the Finland born are a minority.

[Anni]

When Sakri became the editor-in-chief at Amerikan Uutiset, I thought that the whole paper got a more modern, fresher look. I doubt that any old readers have thought it was a change for the worse. Sure, it still has the old American feeling around some features (that seem strange to modern-day Finns), but that's not a sign of the paper being old-fashioned; it's just published in America, not in Finland.

[karl]

This is an interesting discussion. My mother is 91 and is residing at the Finnish-American Rest Home in Lake Worth. She was probably at the private party on Sunday. It was a Karelian Club party. I know because she rushed off the phone so that she would be ready for her ride to Suomi Talo. I see from her viewpoint two things....The people at the party were Karelian's whose families go back before the Winter War in 1939-1940. They are old and with this event very clanish... if you didn't live there you don't belong. But the important thing that my Mother has relayed to me ... is that the people she has around her DO NOT relate to anything other than Finland or where they came from in the States. She constantly tells me she can not find people with whom to talk international or even national events. She was around 20 years old when she came to the US. As she says she lived in the world not just around Finns.

That's a long winded explanation as to why Zippyz and her husband were treated that way.

[Tero]

Well, something like that is what I thought was behind it. I have respect for these old timers and usually know whwn to back off.

I do have a hard time with some Finnish Americans who have some sort of bitter feeling toward Finland that they feel their parents (or grandparents)were forced to leave. I've run into people who will like Finns but not Finland! Any discussion of Finland now or then ends up in the same place with these people. But soon most of these people will be gone.
------
In the early days, some Finns would show up in town and start a Finn Hall. Then five new Finns showed up.They would start their own Finn Hall!

[This message has been edited by Tero (edited December 22, 1999).]

[punkki]

I think a small amount of communication skills on part of the people in Suomi Talo might have gone long way.

Zippyz perceived them to be downright rude, and that is not on, even if the place was having a private party.

[tauno]

Jan 2-00 as an old timer 1926 Port Arthur born and come a long way with Finnish organizations and groups and enjoyed every step of the way,it appears to me now that some of the old ways(fighting the war over and over) is instilled in the younger ones,how I do not know,but this causes the fragmentation.There always was two so-called camps and apparently that still is in effect today.Our true culture and ability to join in plays,dances,sports and other forms of gatherings is lost.It is no longer acceptable to present yourself as a Finn at some functions you have to show what group you support or belong.Too bad.

[Anni]

The Finnish culture in America (and elsewhere outside Finland) changes over time as new people join in. And very, very subtly, they start changing the way things are... newspapers, events, entertainment, get-togethers... The Finnish culture--the sense of identity and "Finnishness", arts in all their forms, traditions, norms, rituals--changes fast in Finland, much faster than among emigrants.

I can understand that some old-timers for example in the USA, born here, or moved here when they were very young, can feel offended, when the younger, energetic generation tries to take over (so it may be perceived) by changing things and ignoring unspoken rules that they, of course, aren't aware of. They feel the younger ones are ruining the sacred heritage that they cling to for dear life. They do not necessarily realize that Finnishness outside their circles has changed, and will change even more in the next decades due to Finland's relatively smooth merge in the traffic of global highways.

There is nothing anybody can really do about the phenomenon of change, but being aware of it helps us not to judge too harshly. We will all have our turn. Things will always change, and some day we will, if not resist, at least feel uncomfortable about the change.

[Tero]

Stay out of Suomi Talo! Just this week officers of American Finnish Tourist club walked out enraged at an upstart, Kari Konnos. Mr. Konnos had been kicked out of the club and the board last year. Accompanied by his lawyer, he was brought back to the club. After a great deal of dicussion, an election was held, placing Mr. Konnos back as speaker, 93 for and 75 against. The vote was followed by the protest exit by other members. This year, 42 new members have joined, at $5 each, and 11 have passe away.
Long live Finnish stubbornness!

[Tero]

There is a letter to the editor in Finnish Update about quarrelsome Finns who don't get along, despite the fact that there are less and less interested in community projects each year. They also hold grudges, about 15 years the writer says.